No bloggable activity has happened in the last few days. They have been relatively "thanda" My parents seem chilled out. But you know what is really funny, suddenly when a girl turns of marriageable age, the uncles and aunties all around suddenly seem to look at you differently.
I remember once at a cousin's wedding, I was brave enough to venture into mami land wearing a saree. I could feel the vulture eyes prying at me. But sometimes I wonder, whether all this in our mind.
Mamis I think are the easiest breed. Peculiar, but very easy. You don't need a fantastic IQ to decode their moves. They have very specific characteristics. The arched back, that cotton saree (which mostly comes in two designs, white polka dots on a purple or blue background, or multicoloured checks) that has been oppressed beyond repair, the diamond earrings and that nose ring that sparkles on each of their wrinkled faces.
I do not mean to demean the ladies. After all, my grandmother falls into that category. But one cant help but wonder, why all of a sudden when a girl starts showing signs of maturity, we not only attract guys, but also the mamis.
Now, coming back to my cousin's wedding. Let's face it! As single women, we love dressing up for a wedding because we always hope to find our Salmaan Khan in a Hum Aapke Hain Koun type set up. While we, as women, are busy giving out the "i-am-sinlge" signals to the eligible young men present in the room, more often than not, the mami's in the room receive those signals.
You often wonder why that dimpled guy in the maroon shirt has not bothered looking back at you for all the ogling that you have indulged in. Why is it that he just doesn't seem to receive your signals. Well! your problem might be that the mami in the green vairushi podavai got teh signal instead. It never reached him. Its funny how the whole concept of broadcasting fails you at this point. Sometimes, the non-winners at in the room also seem to receive your signal, but not Dimples!!
Also, at such times, if your grandma has a wide network of friends, it could be dangerous to be by her side.
As I walk on this road to finding my Mr.Right, these are a few of those episodes that are amusing and can also teach you a lot. Experience has taught me that the only way of dealing with a mami is not getting worked up. This is probably their only source of entertainment!!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Wow!!! It feels great to get back to blogging. The sabbatical was self imposed given that I am now a writer and I felt I didn’t need a blog to vent out my innermost frustrations. However, I could not have been more wrong. I guess opinionated souls like me will still have a view of everything under the sun and when no one wants to hear, we set out on a mission to find bright receptive minds that wouldn’t mind an expert’s view on the happenings of the world.
I am a single Iyer girl living in the heart of a big Indian city. The typical urban girl you can say. I love music (rock, country and whatever category Usher falls into), love books, hate friends who are more successful that I am! Pretty composed I would say, nothing quite seems to get to me, not even annoying colleagues. I love my single life and I love spending time with myself and hanging out with friends.
Like a good girl to my parents, I studied well, got myself an engineering degree and yes, NEVER had a steady boyfriend, and actually have never even been on a date. A contributing factor here was, while I do consider myself to be reasonably good looking and smart, I have somehow always preferred being alone
After I finished college, I got myself a great job that is a perfect combination of what I know and what I love. This job however is a little different from the conventional and I did face opposition, but well, I just didn’t care what anyone else thought. My “well educated” parents were also a little sceptical at the beginning. But I guess I loved this job so much that I found the strength to beat the opposition.
I love being left alone especially in the evenings I look forward to a nice evening of hot chocolate and a good book. But my parents seem to think quite differently. They are convinced that I am absolutely incapable of living my life alone. My parents have decided that I have been single for too long and that I need to get hitched.
My parents are an interesting breed, who very strongly believe that what is right for them is right for me too and a sister who is still trying to figure out what she did wrong for God to have assigned the responsibility of showing the world the right path on her.
Daddy is the typical tam bhram mama who has an opinion on everything right from the share market to why the man by the roadside sprinkles water on the pan before he smears it with the dosa batter. Mom is the quintessential mami who loves her bhajan mandali and scoffs at young girls who hang out with guys and who can’t behave daintily.
My parents would like to think of themselves as modern and well educated and like any other mama-mami would they would repeatedly tell me, “talk to men, I have no problem, but remember you are from a decent family.” (Read don’t eve bother looking at him).
Now that I am grown up and old enough, my family feels it is just the right time to find me a suitable match. I have been single all my life, have never been out on a date, and now, seemingly, I have to wait for daddy to walk into my room and tell me, “Oh! Btw… this is your Mr.Right” I am not complaining, but all this just seems a little bit too overwhelming.
My evenings are now spent looking at guys who have nothing but their educational qualification to their credit and according to my family that is the sine qua non to a happy marriage. I don’t know if all women go through this but I would like to find out. I don’t know if all women feel as suffocated as I do. Or maybe suffocated is not the right word here. Its like a mix of anxiety and well yeah suffocation.
I do feel lonely at times when I see my friends getting hitched but that is jut a temporary feeling. When I look beyond just a relationship at the wonderful life that I have now, I wonder whether there is any need for me to fit someone else into my life. I don’t know if there is enough space in my life for another human being.