How to get rejected....

I have been receiving rave reviews about my blog. I am glad all my friends are liking it. The whole idea of starting this was to help Iyer women (or just single Indian women) all around the world, in a situation similar to mine, and let them know that they are not alone. (All around the world, yeah right...........well, I dream of becoming Editor in Chief of the Economist, I must be crazy and highly ambitious, what did you expect??). So, coming back, I am glad my friends have liked it.

For all the Tam Brahms who read this on time, Happy New year. Depending on when you read this, you decide if the new year wishes apply or not. Today is Varsha Porappu tomorrow is Vishu. Like every other year, I shall adorn myself with new clothes and yes the the "poo" (the things i do to keep my grandmother from nagging... ughhh) Its not like I am averse to the idea of dressing like my culture and tradition requires me to, but I do it when I am comfortable.

Speaking of nagging, its a very common disease among most women i hear. I did that to a friend a few days ago. (Lol, yesss i was nagging, but from my perspective I was trying to talk sense into him) Anyway, so the point is that I hear women nag a lot. Mamma and paati ( tamil for grandmother) sure do.

I was sitting today evening and minding my own business, (i was busy watching desperate housewives) and my grandmother comes to me with fresh jasmine flowers strung together. "Poo chootikyo," she tells me meaning wear these flowers on your head. Now I accepted flowers only to keep her from nagging, but :) i wish I was that lucky. She was not just happy with me placing the flowers in a temporary arrangement on my hair, she wanted me to pin it to my braid. (I first had to braid my messy hair for that)

To keep her happy, I did what she asked me, but what i don't understand is whether that was really necessary. OK. so that episode ended there.

What happened after that was interesting. Mom comes home, she bought all the vishu merchandise and was all ready to set the mood. Now, newsflash, her darling daughter is out in the market and she is groom hunting. Soo, in what way is taht new? Well, I was busy spending my evening with Arun Shourie (I am reading Falling over Backwards rt now)

So my mother interrupts me in the middle of my fantastic reading experience and asks me to put kolam (tamil for Rangoli). After all, the house I get into will not treat me as an equal if cannot I draw beautiful designs with rice power. OK. I did not want to invite her wrath and I did as told. But my point is, why only now? Why cant 12 year old girls be asked to put kolam outside? Why is it that only when their jaadagam (tamil for horoscope) is out that such rules are enforced? Even if a 12 year old girl is asked to put kolam outside, nobody cares too much if she refuses to do it for whatever reason.

I am not complaining because it is of no consequence. I love my customs and traditions and I am more than happy to follow it. I dont know why our ancestors mandated these practices but what I do know is that they were happier and had lesser worries, as long as it does not harm me, I really dont mind following teh practices.

Following customes is one thing, but learning how to cook.... hmmmmm Between mamma and me, that is a very sensitive issue. Why is it that only now, I have to learn how to cook? Its not like I am all lost when it comes to the kitchen, I can make brilliant pasta, and can manage a simple sabzi, but why do I specifically have to learn to make a molaghootal? I know it will not come to me over night, but i learnt how to make pasta and caramel custard by reading from a book, why cant I do that with molaghootal?

The explanation is simple, good girls should know how to make molaghootal, NOT pasta. (Yuck!!) SO if this is true, my "interview" with one of the short listed candidates will be something like this....

Mr. ABC: hello ji
Me: sup?
ABC: You put kolam outside?
Me: did, so??
ABC: Very nice...
Me: Whatever....
ABC: (thinking.... ok +10 to her)
ABC: Aapke hobbies kya kya hai?
Me: I am a bharatnatyam dancer and I love it, me not giving that up for the nething
ABC: (thinking.... ok +10 again)
ME: (thinking.... you better gimmi a +10 dude, actually that needs a +50. I am a brilliant dancer, what talent do you have)
Me: So what do u do in your free time.
ABC: I am writing code to hack into NASA's central database. Not that I am going to do anything wrong with that information, I just want to do it to experience the thrill. And then I want to break the world record set for the fastest human calculator. ummm and then blah.. blah.. blah..
blah...(ME: thinking...-20 to you).... blah... blah...
ABC: Do you know to cook?
Me: Can cook only to save my life. Although I can manage pastas and I make fantastic caramel custard
ABC: (yells out) - 50 to you... Amma... lets go.... cant get married to someone who cant make molaghootal
ME: (rejoicing)

According to my mom, this could actually happen to me.

Tomorrow is Vishu. I saw no point in buying a sari for myself on this auspicious occasion. Although I believe that a sari is the most elegant dress ever, I am more comfortable in capris and a cotton top. Had I bought a sari, it would be tucked away in some corner of my cupboard never to be used again, unless someone I know is getting married.

I love shopping, yes a typical girly trait and yes I would like to think of myself as reasonably trendy. Its the April and the temperatures are soaring. So I went shopping last week and picked up a nice pair of capris and a very cute top. Now you know the rules, new year new clothes. So if I walk into a temple tomorrow wearing capris... lol... do I need to go any further.

What I wear is nobody's business and I don't care what the people think, i will continue to wear what I want as long as I am dressed descent.

Somehow teh mama mamis believe that the Iyer culture is dying out because the kids of this generation don't want to abide by the rules. To be honest, we do, and we are proud to be tam brahms ( so what if i haven't found too many good looking guys in this community). Most of us still believe that the saree is unmatched by any of the modern day outfits. Believe it or not, we love the keerai molaghootal and the rasam and the vazhakkai, but what we don't like is not getting our space. Our typical tamil nadu temple jewellery looks so rich that nothing matches its class.

When I say we here, I can confidently say I speak for most of my friends and acquaintances. In fact all of them I know are of this "type"

As for me, yes, I am trendy, I love rock and yes I wanna learn salsa, but that does not change my identity. I am tam brahm and I am proud of it. I donno why the older generation cant see that.

Why is it so difficult

Hmm... So well.. getting married might not be such a bad thing after all. I mean I know my parents. They love me to death and will not force me into something I dont want. So I have now decided to take a chill pill and just relax. I know things will work out to my advantage.

I recently saw a documentry called "The Secret." This documentry explained how we become what we think. It kind of reinforced my positive thinking plans. Continuing where my last post ended, yes thinking positive has really been of great help. In the past month I have tried thinking that things will happen for the best and that my God will not give me anything I cannot handle.

So I have already started to think that I am the Editor in Chief of the Economist. That way, I will become what I think. I have started to think that I can afford to walk into a Versace/ Shahab Durazi outlet (depending on my mood whether I plan to wear a western or Indian outfit) and buy whatever I want on an impulse and not feel guilty about it. I have started to believe that I will be able to gift my Dad a Raymond Weil watch and my mother a Cartier set by the time I am 30.

All this was easy. Somehow, when I tried to bring myself to think that I have ended up with the perfect guy, that was sooooooo difficult. I don’t know why. It was just sooo difficulyt almost impossible to think of myself with te perfect guy…. lolzzz