Jaadagam Therapist

My mother is frustrated with the way things are going. She has seen over 200 profiles and her darling daughter hasn't said a yes to any of them. Somehow my mother seems to think that she is the victim here but I beg to differ. I have been looking and declining profiles of men all this while and that is not exactly my idea of a hobby. At least if I were into HR, I would have been honing skills that I need at work.

I fail to understand why God has so perfectly crafted the jaadagams of the eligible guys to not match mine. In fact, my dad's astrologer has stopped rejecting guys on the basis of their horoscope. he asks my dad a few basic questions first like what is the guy doing, his education, his passions, what he likes and what he does not like. Then he asks for the photograph. If everything matches my preferences, he just doesn't bother matching the horoscope. I declines it right there.

I thought I was just being to cynical when I thought God was playing games with me. I mean, I am smart, I look good, I have a job that I love, I know my passion, I am very strong emotionally, I have a strong support in my family and friends, I have to be God's special person. And besides, I am a student of Vedanta, so there really is hardly any reason for Gods to be pissed off.

But, just yesterday,I got a dose of reality. My horoscope actually matched with the perfect guy. Good looking and smart and talented and well educated. Needless to say, I couldnt believe it. I was excited that things were looking up. But, just then my dad decided to cross check the horoscope before he could get in touch with his family. Guess what, teh planetery positions in the 'correct' version of teh horoscope were different from what my father had downloaded. This new version is exactly what is the most inappropriate match for me.

It's so surprising how the horoscopes that match mine have owners who don't have anything in common with me. Those guys are exactly what I do not want in my partner. Someone who is completely devoid of talent and yes, someone who looks the exact opposite of Dylan McDermott.

I don't understand why my horoscope has such a low self esteem. It's like she just feels she's not worth the good looking and talented guys. If my horoscope was approached by some hot guy, I think she would pee right there. If my horoscope went to a single's bar, she would head straight toward the rejected group. I think my horoscope feels comfortable, only when she is in the company of the mami's who talk about how their son's can take on Einstein without a minute of preparation, and what's worse is she falls only for that variety.

I just don't get it. You look at her she has a bright future written all over her, she has talent written so clearly on her, and somehow, she never seems to acknowledge that. If there are any good jaadagam therapists out there, I need one desperately!

A family friend is getting married. Social obligations require me to join in the celebrations and so today I went for her mehendi. This time a mami was innovative and she came up with a new joke. She looks at me and goes, "Ab next tu laddu khilaegi hume?" At least she dint say "U're next"

Why does everyone want to see me in a bridal ensemble? Why cant they just leave me alone? As far as my dad's efforts are concerned, I feel bad for teh man coz my horoscope hasnt matched with the guys I have liked. It is my dad's duty to give his daughter's hand in marriage. Why should the whole community be so concerned.

Everyone seems so concerned about me getting married that they feel obligated to hunt down guys from every corner of the globe. The innovative aunty tells my mother that her son-in-law's cousin's aunt's son is single and ready to mingle. I am sure she was only trying to help. Ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what is so bad about this whole process but it is taking a toll on me and I want this ordeal to end once and for all.

It just gets to me when these aunty's feel they have found me the perfect match. Dont they have anything better to do? You know what may be not. Probably that's why they found poor me and my friends to target. I mean how much time can you actually kill reading Narayaneeym and the Bhagwad Gita? How many saptaham's can you listen to? Poor babes. Their problem is probably lack of creativity.

Well!! They need not worry any more. I am here to their rescue. Read on!! I am spending valuable time listing out 10 things they can do to divert their minds from the the nubile women and the well qualified bachelors.

1. Add some spice to the existing tasks. Get the gentlemen who read the slokams at a routine saptaham to jazz it or better still rap it. They could spice it up by choosing a theme for each one of the seven days. Like monday could be say Eminem day, tuesday could be P Diddy day and so on....
2. Get a makeover. After all oil is the scarcest natural resource
3. Go to the temple and spend time praying, praying with devotion and not materialism.
4. Get a new hobby. Salsa classes are springing up like nobody's business.
5Stop worrying about me and start meditating.
6. Read. Calvin and Hobbes, Dilbert.... the options are endless
7. Learn how to use the computer and yes, also learn how to speak softly on Gtalk.
8. Watch Honeymoon Travels (Refer to post number 3 i think)
9. Stay indoors. (The poor mamas are so neglected)
10.Stop worrying about me and start meditating.

I recommend this post to all mamis. I pray that I can witness an awakening of some kind.