As a child, my friends and I would race to reach school first, the gate first, finish homework first several other such petty races that used to give us so much pleasure. There was a race of a similar nature in the kovil that I visited not so long ago. The mamis were playing......"Who finds her right match first"
Yes the hunt is still on. I am single, successful (oh yes... I am no longer a jouno... i moved into consulting and risk consulting nonetheless... and as a friend put it... I succumbed to the moolah). I have a great social life, have great friends, love reading, love 'smoke on the water' and yeah... love my freedom. I have just listed out all the things the mamis should supposedly hate in me. Like said... supposedly!
It seems like the only thing missing in their lives is my committed status. They all want to see me married, living life by someone else's terms, getting so busy with family life that I have no time for MY FRIENDS, MY BOOKS AND MY MUSIC. I have realized that company is not such a bad thing but the openness ends there. I am not sure what I want to do post realization.
It is almost certain that a young woman completing her education (not applicable in all cases... just her being a fully developed woman is sufficient) must be in want of a husband. Society has really not changed much since the 1800s. Mrs.Bennets, the Mr.Darcys and yes, the Elizabeath Bennets of the world well continue to exist no matter what.
Ok coming back to the aunties in the kovil. You know the feeling of walking into class hour after the lecture begins. Everybody in class stares at you like you are some sort of teaching aid...(no mebbe naked Beyonce is more like it) ... Neway... you get the picture... When I walked in.... the aunties suddenly lost interest in the deity and they shifted their complete focus on me. Trust me.... Shankaracharya in a gathering of 50,000 sweaty aunties would have been more starved for attention.
One mami who, I can bet my next's month salary, did not even know my name, walks up to my mother and gives her precious priceless blessings that I will get married by next Navratri. She says, "Ennodu ashirvadam irruku, adutha navratri kulla nischiyama kalaynam ayidum." The demeanor: benevolent, the tone: empathetic, the crap: well crap of course.
When I heard this mami, I wanted to scream sooo loud but I had to behave myself as I was in the temple. To add to all my troubles, she asked me to distribute vetalai paaku (haldi kumkum) to all the ladies in the temple. (Yeah... if you dint see Beyonce's naked dance because of all that crowd, dont worry we'll ask her to do it all over again more provocatively from the rooftop.. you wont miss it then)
I did as I was told because... actually I dont know why i did it... I hated every moment of it.
It's not that I am not looking for company. But he has to be someone who I can feel comfortable talking to and yes... he should have a personality that I find pleasing. I dont know if the mamis understand that society has reached a point where women also put down rules that they would like followed. We have a voice and an opinion of our own and I have to praise the Lord for social developments that let us be financially independent. Till the older ladies understand this... thy can go take a hike.
1 comment:
hey what do you hate the idea of marriage or the way people go about it? get that straight first.if you dont like the idea of marriage then it is completely different issue and opens a lot of open ended questions. but if you dont like the society's way of going about it then:
1)this will go on only until you r married after that it is all up to you and ur hubby to decide the dynamics of your relationship. so this is a temporary problem.
2) this society that u dont want now and u hate now consist of the same people who will come when u r in trouble. when bad times hit, it may be one of these same mamies who will come for help. when we want them in times of need, as a matter of fact consider it their duty to help us in times of need, dont they have a right to interfere a little bit now.
3) they are not bad people it is just that they have lived in times and brought up in a culture where passing a comment or having an opinion was not considered violation of personal space or interference. 20 years from now our children may walk naked on beaches (juhu or shivaji park) and if you look at them and become shocked they will say "this mami has nothing better to do it is my body my life i will wear or not wear clothes it is nobody's business".imagine that and these mamies will not seem that bad after all!! nobody is absolutely right or wrong.
4)indians may be an interfering lot. but it is the same lot that will help and offer social security when in need. our is one of the few countries which offers social security for free.
Cheers
sunitha
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